Wood Tennis: Advanced Drinking Rules

OK, with the basic gameplay under your belt and now that you are well versed in introductory drinking rules, it's time to really make the game interesting. Cue the advanced drinking rules! Adding these extra requirements to the game will really test your table tennis abilities, as well as your ability to remain composed and standing while playing this sport :-)

The advanced drinking rules are:

1. When asked the score by another player, or at any time stating the score, there are words that must be substituted for some numbers.
   
   
   
   • 'Fizz' for 5, or any multiple of 5;
     
   • 'Buzz' for 7, or any multiple of 7;
     
   • 'Tazz' for 8, or any multiple of 8;
     
   
   So if the score is 15-7, you should say 'Fizz - Buzz'. Should someone say the number instead of the substitue word, that person has to drink.
   


2. For each game, each player has one "enforced drink" where he can make the other player drink for any reason he sees fit. This is known as the "Drink Regardless" rule. If any player calls out "drink regardless!" during the course of the game, everyone in the room has to drink. This is most useful when the other player already has a multiple of drinks for hitting the woody can, or some other reason... it really pisses them off when they have to have one more drink... doesn't it Adrian? :)


3. When the second "drink regardless" call is used... a small scene from the South Park movie must re-enacted. The player calling drink regardless must say (in a Saddam Hussein voice) "Who's my cream puff?". The other player then says (in a Satan voice) "I am.". The first player then says (in the Saddam voice again) "That's right..." - if this is somehow stuffed up the player who makes the mistake has to drink.


4. This next rule is only applicable when more than 2 people are in the room... one player at any time can raise his arm and call "Hasselhoff!". The last person in the room to raise his arm and say "Hasselhoff!" has to drink.


5. When you go to smash the ball, you have to call "smash!". A player who fails to call smash gets a drink. If the ball goes in, and you don't call smash, you don't get the point. If the ball misses and you don't call smash, you have to have another drink.

There you have it... that's the rules to our brilliant game! Now go and spread the good word of wood tennis, get drunk, and be merry :)

posted by Jacob @ 6:28:00 pm 0 comments

Wood Tennis: Basic Drinking Rules

Now the basic rules are out of the way, it's time to get down to the very essence of the game; it's prime reason for existence - the drinking rules. It's a very complex set of rules, whose complexity is only exceeded by the resultant inebriation, which in turn is only exceeded by its complexity.

The basic drinking rules are:

1. Drink every time reaches a score that is a multiple of three. This initially started as a multiple of two, but got adjusted after one game of this rule because Adrian and I were so smashed it would be impossible to play two straight games ;)


2. If you double-fault, you have to drink.


3. If you hit the ball and it lands in the cardboard box previously set up next to the table, you have to drink.


4. If you hit either woodstock can on your side of the net, you have to drink, and you lose the point.


5. If you hit the woodstock can furthest from the net on your opponent's side, your opponent has TWO drinks and you get TWO points.


6. If you hit the woodstock can closest the net on your opponents side, your opponent has THREE drinks and you get TWO points.


7. The number of drinks you have can accumulate but only within one point. e.g. If a player is on a score of 1 and hits the woodstock can furthest from the net on his opponent's side, his score moves to 3. Therefore the opponent has THREE drinks because of the two drinks for hitting the can, plus one for the score being a multiple of 3.

posted by Jacob @ 4:10:00 am 0 comments

Wood Tennis: An Introduction

When we moved into our place in late October of last year, I managed to wrangle my old man's table tennis table out of his garage without him really knowing and take it to our place to set it up in a big arse shed we have out the back. This shed is 9m x 6m which we have dubbed "The Woodshed". Consequently our house took on this nickname too, but that's another story all together.

Wood Tennis is essentially the game of table tennis, but has an extra sub-set of rules that's ever-growing by the day it seems, used to turn the comparably drab game of table tennis into a thrilling, on-the-edge-of-your-seat drinking game :)

Adrian and I first invented the game one night while I think Justin was at Greater Union... so he came home and experienced just how drunk we had gotten in such short a time, and was naturally enthralled as to how this was possible.

So... I present, over the next week, the definitive guide to Wood Tennis.

1. Setup
   
   
   
   1. 4 empty cans of "Giant 440mL" woodstock must be placed at specific points on the table, as shown below:
      

      
      
      

   2. A cardboard box at least half a foot deep must be in place at some point within "bouncing" distance around the table.
   
   
   
   


2. Basic Gameplay
   (Assumes the basic rules of table tennis apply, with the following extensions)
   
   
   
   1. Before the game starts, a single point will be played to decide who serves first. The ball must pass over the net three times for the point to be valid. This is known as a "3 over".
   
   
   2. The winner of the 3 over starts serving. He has 5 consecutive serves before the serve rotates to the other player. He then has 5 consecutive serves. Service rotates like this for the duration of the game.
   
   
   3. Service is always from the server's right hand side of the table to the opponent's right hand side of the table.
   
   
   4. A service "let" occurs when the serve is good, but hits the net on the way over. The server gets to re-serve without penalty.
   
   
   5. A service fault occurs when the ball fails to comply with the rule 2.3.
   
   
   6. A service double-fault occurs when for the server commits two service faults for the same point. This results in a point to the other player.
   
   
   7. Play continues until one player has reached 21. In the event both players reach 20, play continues until one player has a lead of two points. That player is then pronounced the winner.
   
   
   
   

posted by Jacob @ 11:02:00 pm 0 comments